I Hide My Eyes

When I am feeling emotions that I do not like or want to show then I actually cover , or hide my eyes. This can be done by putting my head in my hands or binding my eyes with something such as cloth. This stops others seeing the emotions and makes me feel safer. Its kind of like a hug from a person. It makes you feel like the world isn’t so huge and scary. Not being able to see makes me feel like there bad things out there don’t actually exist and the ones that do can't see my pain. I am also scared of crowds so it makes me feel like the crowds aren’t so big and aren’t all looking at me.

I also broke my rule about never rhyming and this is a example why I don’t do it. I have stuffed up the rhyming pattern. I did write it during a theatre performance so that’s probably the reason for the poor rhyming.

I hope you like it

I Hide My Eyes

I hide my eyes

I can not see

There hidden from

 all those around me.

My hidden eyes

Stop’s the show

Of dark emotions

From deep below

As I stare through blinded eyes

I miss the glances

Of passes by

I hade away from my fears

And bottle up my unshed tears

If I can’t see then neither can they

The feelings that’ve returned

From far away

I fight, trying to hold them back

But fall to my knees and am

Beaten back

Slammed into the wall and lying

Curled into a ball, heart dying

Cut up inside my body lies

Blind eyes stare blankly at

Broken skies

My mind is swamped

 with doubt and lies

and in that haze my

 mind decides

that every face wears

 accusing eyes

so I stay scared, overwhelmed

wishing for a place to call my own

wishing for she I can call mine

unseen tears fall from sightless eyes

 

Mind of a Masochist

I have always been interested in the idea's of sadism and masochism. this poem is my idea of how a masochist whould think. I find it interesting. i have to say: most of my poems are based around some truth but this one Isn't. It is very dark and there is more dark ones coming.

Mind of a masochist  

I scream as I cut again,

Yes!! Ahhh the Punishment, I giggle through my tears.

I deserve this . this pain is the punishment for my crimes. My screams mixed with manic laughter, echo through my brain as the knife drops from my grasp.

The loud clatter it makes as it hits the floor struggles to be heard over the echoing screams still bouncing around my skull.

I stare at it for a moment, just as the echo’s pass then follow it down as the world faids to red.

Its only quick, then I’m on the ground. Vision clearing as I lay there with my heart pounding, head throbbing, blood pouring.

I let out something, a mixture between a sob and a laugh as I fumble around blindly for the knife, hand eventaly connecting with the sliperly blood soaked handle, holding it for strength before I try to rise but pause, waiting to regain strength.

When I’m ready I try again, grabbing a near by wall as I struggle to lift my shaking body on to legs of rubber. I latch onto a table which I use to get me stager into a standing position, I stand there swaying , staggering around trying to stay upright and make a shaky step forwards.

My vision blurs as I stumble, crashing into some unseen object and fall. Vision disappearing. Then there is pain again, greeting me as I fall, fall into the endless oblivion of darkness